This is too much for a simple "title"

When I was younger, I saw my dad all the time and spent so much time with him..especially on his birthday. He taught me not to pick my nose, he taught me how to burp on command (which is probably why I put boys to shame when I burp), he taught me how to state the alphabet backwards, and he taught me to like green beans by telling me "they would make my eyelashes grow long and pretty." Now as I've grown up, I see him maybe twice a year; if I'm lucky and the best he tries to teach me is "to not chew on my fingers to where I won't have finger nails anymore." He's supposed to pick me up every Wednesday and every other weekend according to the court when I was 18 months old but he's never come to get me once. I'm sure every girl dreams of her dad walking her down the isle on her wedding day. I feel like this dream is close to impossible for me because mine won't even give me the time of day to text me back. It proves to me he could care less and that throws me off track. I seem like I hate him...but it's all an act. I really don't, but I don't love him either; I don't even know him. Day by day I hear a new story about some horrible action he has done and it breaks my heart; although nothing is harder than hearing about my friends being "daddy's little girl" because I know it will never be that way for me. Around this age is when most girls "hate" their parents but in all honesty, I've never wanted a parent more in my life. Looking back on my past, I've gone through a whole lot..it's all been an up and down roller coaster that never ends and well we all have but the hardest thing I've ever gone through was this. This whole not having a dad is heartbreaking, it messes with my mind, and it's true and pure torture. Now you all may think I'm being dramatic about this but it's probably because you have your dad in your life, your dad never walked away from you before you were even born, your dad doesn't ignore you, your dad respects you, and your dad probably treats you like a princess. 

me and my daddy, the only picture of us in existance

Regardless of all the negativity I have towards him for breaking my heart, I still would do anything for him.